Despite all these, I started to like the feeling of Christmas as I grow up. The joyful feeling of Christmas, the soul-calming Christmas carols and the dazzling deco on the streets made me anticipating for its arrival.

I told my children about the stories of Christmas and the generous Santa who would deliver gifts to the well-behaved children on Christmas eve! We even made a snow man by using rolls of cotton wool. I want them to share the joyous moment together.

Merry X’mas everyone!

Tags: christmas, santa, clause

I woke up as early as 6.30am and left the house at 7.30am. It was 40 minutes earlier compared to the usual time when I left the house for work. As soon as we came out to the main road, we got ourselves stuck in a terrible jam! Some parts of the road were flooded so the cars could not pass. Then it was the traffic light that was not working!  The usual 2 lanes became 7 lanes and everyone was trying to cut the queue and this made the jam worse!

I was stuck in the jam for 2 hours before I could arrive at my work place. I was an hour late! When I reached my workplace, the rain was still pouring. One of my colleagues arrived at 12 noon! She said many places were flooded especially the low land kampung houses. It took me another 2.5 hours to reach home. The journey to and back from work today took me 4.5 hours in total!
When I read the news, it said it was “once in a 100 years” phenomenon. The bad news is that there is going to be more rain. May be I should sing  “Rain rain go away, come again some other day….”

Tags: flood, rain, traffic, jam

The kids were excited, especially my daugther. Instead of letting them playing on their own and probably doing nothing for the whole day. I sat down with them telling them stories, doing handicrafts together. It was a fun time. At the same time, I my son would not “stick” to the TV screen as he used to be when the school holidays started.

The kids said to me,”mum, can you stay at home everyday?” It is kinda sad that I could not at the moment. I will be back to work next week.

Tags: quality, time, children

In the ancient times, people treated “dreams” seriously. They even had some “professionals” to translate the dreams for them. They thought the dreams were some form of signs that something would happen to them. Some people dreamt about a long-lost friend, a deceased friend or relative.

Nowadays, we know that dreaming is a normal part of sleeping. It happened during the “REM (rapid eye movement)” phase of our sleep. I had strange dreams for the past two nights. I do not know what does it reflect.
Usually I would forget what dreams I had the night before. However, this time, the dream was so vivid that I could still remember the plot when I was awake. I would not tell what dream I had for I know it would never happen in real life. Does that mean dreams are actually something that we desire or fear in our innerself which will only be released in our dreams? I do not know the answer.

Once, a friend of mine told me that he could “control” his dreams. I doubt about it. If it was the case, then he would be able to meet his “dream girl” every night then!

Anyway, I still want to be wished “sweet dreams” every night before going to bed.

Tags: dream, REM

The wound was painful and I couldn’t move as the aneasthetic effect was subsided. I stayed in the hospital for 2 days for observation before I can be discharged.

This incident has made me change some of the perceptions in life. Although it was a minor procedure, I have learnt to cherish every moments and persons around me. Things happened without any signs and signals, you might see a normal person at one time but the person might be landed in hospital the next second. I am glad that the appendice did not rupture or else I would have to suffer more.

I know my weakness. My husband said i always do things driven by emotions. I would always argue to win eventhough I know my point was not rigid. But again, thanks for your support and care. I know what you do is for my best interest.

After the specialist examined me, I was admitted straight away. However, we faced another dilemma. There were no bed. The nurse took a good one hour to put me in one of the beds in the maternity ward. Then they sent me to run a series of tests before the specialist said “it is the time”. I had to get ready to go into the operating theatre.

My head went blank. I knew I had to undergo operation but it just happened too fast. I have never been to the Operating theatre (OT) before. I could imagine the scenes in “healing hands”,” chicago hope”….I imagined the worst scenes too like” the family members are crying whille the husband is holding the wife’s hand when the wife is being pulled into the OT” . Despite the fact that the pain was killing me, I couldn’t believe that I was so imaginative.

The nurses reassured me, saying that it was a minor procedure. Then I heard the specialist said it’s time to go.

I felt that I was like facing death penalty. I could not hide my fear despite that I pretended to be ok. I remembered the anesthetician talked to me. I asked if there was any risks involved. He said,”Every procedure carries risk, but your case is minimal”.

There I went. My mind went blank when they injected something to me……..

Tags: appendice, appendicitis, hospital, anesthetic

When I woke up on Monday, I felt pain at my tummy. Not a serious one so I did not bother about it. Then I did my routine changing and prepared to go to work. My husband suggested we go together and so we could have breakfast on the way to work. I agreed.

I felt that the pain was still there. I did not want to stir up a big fuss, so I did not care. When I reached my work place. I quickly took some pain killers and hoped that the pain would go away by itself. After 1 hour, the pain was getting more intense. I had cold sweat and my hands were as cold as ice. It was not like the pain when you ate the wrong food, neither it seemed like menstrual pain. I could not bear anymore and I went to the clinic nearby. By then I could hardly walk or think straight.

The nurse at the reception saw my situation and quickly led me in to see the doctor. I told the doctor that it was the most painful episode that I had except the labour pain which I experienced 4 and 2 years ago. He sensed something wrong and told me that there were 2 possibilities: appendicitis or problems with the right ovary. He wrote me a referal letter and asked me to go to any hospital asap. If it was appendicitis, any delay could result in the rupture of the appendice and lead to more complications.

I was hesitated. I called my husband. We headed to the hospital straight away.

Tags: appendice, appendicitis, hospital

It was an-hour drive to the charity home. The person in-charge showed us around the area. The kids were curious to see why the “less fortunate children” were lying on the bed helplessly. Joe and Jun looked at them pitifully and asked, “Mum. where are their parents?” ,”Why are they here?” ,”Do they need to go to school?” Suddenly, countless questions flooded their mind. I had to explain to them and the purpose of our trip.

It was sad to see some young children who were bound to the bed all of the time due to their disability. There was a child with celebral palsy who cried helplessly.
He could not stretch his legs and arms. He could not even speak. He made me think of ourselves who are considered “lucky” and we have to help them as much as we can.

We had lunch in the canteen in the charity room together with all the children in the charity home. I hope the kids had seen the other side of the “real world”.

Tags: charity, less, fortunate

When we reached to bridal suite for the tea ceremony, it was already over. Feeling very embarrassed, I blamed the traffic jam on the way. I talked to the uncles and aunties whom I have not met in years. I couldn’t even recognised one of my cousins who has been in overseas for years while we were in the same lift!

My cousin (the bride) was very happy and yet tired from the preparation for the wedding. The groom was a nice courteous gentleman. Many friends and relatives flew in to attend their wedding.

We proceeded to the church in the afternoon for the holy matrimony. Joe was very curious and excited since this was the first time he attended the church wedding. After the ceremony, we had a refreshment outside the church. The weather was hot and Joe fell asleep before the ceremony ended.

We stayed for the dinner as well. Nice small wedding reception with around 12 tables of guests.The speeches by the newly-wed was touching. The bride could not hold her emotion and cried on the stage. It was a memorable evening!

Tags: wedding, cousin,

Late afternoon, Siti called. She sounded happy!  However, she told me she had not got an employer.

I told mother, the idea of should we get her back came.

We are just too tired handling kids on our own.  We were pampered when Siti was around but we did not really want to agree to the fact.

I called the agent. 

Sending Yanti back and bringing Siti home will be like what happened last Wednesday.  They will not get to meet.

I spent quite a lot switching these two maids.

I have come to the conclusion that Siti’s flaws are somehow good:

- her loudness: i need someone loud to overcome isabel’s screaming.
- her kpo attitude: i need someone who is attentive and know what i want before i open my mouth.
- her siao ding dong personality: if not, how to entertain isabel?

I told mother maybe Siti put gong tao on us, thus we die die need her back after going through all these.  So malu, i told mother.  The whole world knows why we sent her back and now we are asking her back again? If I were a reader here, I would ask why.

Well, I over-estimated my children’s readiness in accepting to a new maid.  I thought Yanti would blend in well with them.  I have lack of manpower to go through this transition period.  While it is true that a new employee needs some time to settle down, I do not have a lot of time to settle down with her.  I cannot take a few days stretch of leave to settle down a new maid.  I cannot depend on my auntie to help me since she has to work.  As a mother to the children and a daughter to my mother, I cannot just leave home for work and think “hopefully situation will be better today”, “this is just the beginning…”.

Mother had to carry Evan and fed Isabel at the same time yesterday, i was very sad to hear that.  Yanti could not do anything, because the kids rejected her.

This is the 2nd decision I made this year that did not work out smoothly.  First one was sending Isabel to childcare when she was barely 18months+.  That incident, I blamed myself for unable to analyse properly due to post-delivery hormones haywire.
 
Life is so contradicting.  We tell ourselves to be independent.  Independent = Ability to make decisions.  My decisions do not work out.  I do not totally blame myself.  If I did not decide, someone else might.  I chose to be the commando, cheong and die first at front line.  However, I always tell myself “never try, never know”.

Time to take a break, time to be a little woman and be dependent.  If you notice, “small women” might survive longer.  I am not fit to be a leader.  It’s time to practise what the leader preaches. 

Time to read more on parenting book.

Welcome back, Siti.

Tags: square, one, maid