Tales of Two Women

Yanti is an almost perfect maid.  Polite, can speak simple mandarin, good in housework.  Mum casually told me few days ago Yanti seemed to have lack of chemistry with my children.  I did not take her words too seriously, afterall, she is new.  Today, I stayed home all day with mum, kids and Yanti.  It was hell of our lifetime.  Isabel sticked to me almost like glue, Evan avoided me as if I was a monster.  We both handled two kids on our own while Yanti busy herself with housework.  I could see her lack of interest to get into my kids’ lives.  She did tell me my kids do not seem to like her.

Late afternoon, Siti called. She sounded happy!  However, she told me she had not got an employer.

I told mother, the idea of should we get her back came.

We are just too tired handling kids on our own.  We were pampered when Siti was around but we did not really want to agree to the fact.

I called the agent. 

Sending Yanti back and bringing Siti home will be like what happened last Wednesday.  They will not get to meet.

I spent quite a lot switching these two maids.

I have come to the conclusion that Siti’s flaws are somehow good:

- her loudness: i need someone loud to overcome isabel’s screaming.
- her kpo attitude: i need someone who is attentive and know what i want before i open my mouth.
- her siao ding dong personality: if not, how to entertain isabel?

I told mother maybe Siti put gong tao on us, thus we die die need her back after going through all these.  So malu, i told mother.  The whole world knows why we sent her back and now we are asking her back again? If I were a reader here, I would ask why.

Well, I over-estimated my children’s readiness in accepting to a new maid.  I thought Yanti would blend in well with them.  I have lack of manpower to go through this transition period.  While it is true that a new employee needs some time to settle down, I do not have a lot of time to settle down with her.  I cannot take a few days stretch of leave to settle down a new maid.  I cannot depend on my auntie to help me since she has to work.  As a mother to the children and a daughter to my mother, I cannot just leave home for work and think “hopefully situation will be better today”, “this is just the beginning…”.

Mother had to carry Evan and fed Isabel at the same time yesterday, i was very sad to hear that.  Yanti could not do anything, because the kids rejected her.

This is the 2nd decision I made this year that did not work out smoothly.  First one was sending Isabel to childcare when she was barely 18months+.  That incident, I blamed myself for unable to analyse properly due to post-delivery hormones haywire.
 
Life is so contradicting.  We tell ourselves to be independent.  Independent = Ability to make decisions.  My decisions do not work out.  I do not totally blame myself.  If I did not decide, someone else might.  I chose to be the commando, cheong and die first at front line.  However, I always tell myself “never try, never know”.

Time to take a break, time to be a little woman and be dependent.  If you notice, “small women” might survive longer.  I am not fit to be a leader.  It’s time to practise what the leader preaches. 

Time to read more on parenting book.

Welcome back, Siti.